Things that make me happy

Coming home to find a vase full of hand-picked wildflowers.

Week at a Glance

It has been a horrible week. I wouldn't mind if it ended today and was just a new week tomorrow. I wouldn't argue, or really even question it. That's how bad it has been.

Work has been horribly busy and just awful. I'm on the implementation team for a new project. It goes into effect on Monday. It was supposed to go into effect on Thursday, but our project leader is a slacker and a master at BSing, and has been lying to everyone (managers, VPs, members of the team) on the status of everything that has to get done. Then he went on vacation for two weeks, one week before the project was supposed to go live. As soon as he was gone, all hell broke loose and we found out that not only were we 10% of the way done (as opposed to the 90% he had been telling us), but that 10% had been done wrong. So for the past two weeks I've been running around like crazy trying to fix all his mistakes, dropping everything I've been working on and just generally going insane. Then he came back on Monday, to some very angry team members and we realized how much more there was to do, how much more he hasn't done, and it's gone downhill. Corporate pushed off implementation until Monday, which bought us a little more time. But it's still been a horrible week.

Then last night Guy and I went to a bbq at some friends house. Friends he has been friends with for a long time. A married couple that were really close friends with him and his ex-gf. Friends that I just don't know how I feel about yet. It was a fun time, and great hanging out with them, and there were a bunch of other people there that were definitely fun to meet. I drank much too much wine, got into an argument with Guy on the way home, somehow ended up sleeping on the couch (I was extremely upset, and now am not so sure why), and don't feel so great today. Poor Guy. If he's going to encourage me to drink when I'm having a bad week, then he has to learn that when I start arguing about something I normally wouldn't freak out over, he just needs to placate me and tell me we'll talk about it in the morning and figure out what we need to do. Because in the morning I won't be able to figure out why I was that upset over something so small. He hasn't learned this yet. But then again, I don't drink that much that often.

House Searching and Fawns

Two nights ago we went looking at houses. We didn't really find anything we loved that we could also afford (although we found many in either of those catagories). We did, however, run across a deer with her twin fawns. They weren't scared of cars or people at all, which worries me somewhat. But they were cute. They knew enough to stay off the road... at least while we watched. But I guess that's what happens when you're a deer growing up in a housing complex.

We rearranged our back room (again) and finally hung up some of the picture frames I've been wanting to hang. Since we're still waiting on wedding pictures to come back from the photographer, most of the frames have fake people in them... But at least they are on the wall where I want them! I also finally hung up my massage therapy license, our dart board and put a new battery in Guy's clock. I can actually see the top of my desk, but only small areas of it. We are getting somewhere though.

I took yesterday off of work in order to get new tires on my car (they were completely bald) and help Guy fix his truck's power steering, which is dead. We didn't get the truck done because Guy needs some other sort of tool to pull something off before he can get to the power steering box. But I have new tires! Yay! Tread! While waiting for my car to be done, we wandered through bed, bath and beyond with some gift cards we had.... So I also got a shoe rack to hang on a door, a new wine bottle opener set and a fogless mirror/clock/radio to put in our shower. Now my shoes are organized, wine bottles are opened with ease, I can dance and sing in the shower, and Guy has a much easier time shaving. Then I dragged him to the new Barnes & Nobles that just opened in that mall, fell in love with some photography how-to books, desperately wanted to buy a few fiction books, and managed to walk out of there with NOTHING. That is no small feat for me... to leave a bookstore without buying anything?? Insane. But I was trying to convince Guy that we really should buy adobe photoshop for me, because it will be super useful and I could do so much more with it... But even with all my great reasons to buy it, price generally wins out, especially when we have two very large car repair bills loaming ahead of us.

Last night I went out for dinner with Missy and Sara (Guy's cousin and cousin-in-law) for Sara's bday. It was nice to hang out with just the girls. So we drank some wine, shared some gossip and then came back to our house to drink more wine and share more stories. It was very chill and very nice. And although I love them to death, I also find that I am needing friends outside of Guy's family. His family is so great, and they get along so well. It's easy to just spend time with them. But if/when Guy and I ever get in an argument, or if I'm even just foolishly frustrated with him, I can't talk to them about it. I always get told he loves me and doesn't mean to annoy me... "that's just Guy". Well of course it is! It's probably one of his annoying traits that I know I can live with (face it, we all have those). But sometimes you just need to vent to someone, and have them agree that "that is annoying!" or tell you you're being ridiculous... His family takes the "oh don't get annoyed... he really loves you" route. I know he loves me. He loves me to death. I love him to death too. But does that mean that we don't annoy each other? Does the fact that he's annoying me or I'm annoying him mean we love each other any less? What's funny is that it's not like Guy and I are having problems, or that he frustrates me all that much (I'd be lying if I said he didn't at all... but I frustrate him too). Sometimes it's just good to talk to someone outside of the situation... Someone that hasn't know him longer than they've known me. So I guess I need to just branch out and make friends. Life seems to be settling down now, so maybe I'll have time to do that sometime soon...

Weekend plans and pictures

My weekend plans were simple for this week. Guy has a DJ gig and massages on Saturday. I would clean the house and relax. Not going anywhere, not doing anything. I was actually pretty excited about that.

Driving home from work yesterday I get a text message from Guy: "Cleveland this weekend?" We had just been talking about how, if we get another free weekend this summer, we're going to go to Cleveland to visit a friend he hasn't seen in years, and to show me the other city he lived in. He's wanted to take me to Cleveland since we first started dating. But something didn't compute... didn't he have massages and a DJ gig? He has to work on Saturday... we're not driving to and from Cleveland all on Sunday! So I get home and learn that his DJ gig has been cancelled, and he has Satuday afternoon and Sunday free. Yay! So we are headed to Cleveland to see the sights and possibly catch an Indian's game. We're trying to get in touch with his friend, but haven't been able to. We're going regardless though, because Guy has wanted to show me where he went to school for awhile.

And pictures... I've been playing with some pictures and changing colors, hue's and saturations... So here are a couple:

birthdays!

Saturday we got internet at home (and yes, we did get the back room cleaned up a bit). That's my bday present to Guy. His birthday isn't until August, but I decided to get it early for him. I have internet at work, he hasn't had it for about 2 years now. The only time he gets online is when he's at his mom's house. And she has insanely slow dial-up. So they came and installed it Saturday before Guy got home from massages. He came home and tested it out and was astounded at how fast it went (being DSL). I thought that was cute, because I'm used to fast internet at work.

Guy with a sparkler

Sunday was my dad and brother's birthday. Guy and I headed out to the lake house Saturday night to visit and spend their birthday's with them. We lit sparklers, played in mudpuddles, had cake, visited the farm, and thorougly enjoyed our time away. It was great to spend time with my brothers family. They just moved back from living in Maine. It was too far of a drive to make often. But my neice and nephew have grown tremendously. My nephew used to be super shy and not talk to anyone at all. This trip he was following me around and showing me all of his toys and just loving that we were there.

With my neice and nephew at the lake

Then we came home late last night, got very little sleep, and started off a new exhausting week. But our house is getting more organized, and more like we live there. It's only taken 2 years to get to that point. Now that we're married and looking to buy a house, I feel like we should get this one in good order. Throw things away that we don't need. Spend time on the projects that need time spent on them... Like organizing my photos, for example. I have so many pictures, and photo CD's, and photo albums... I need to just go through all of them and organize, and put pictures in the frames we have that are waiting to hang on the wall. We have so many empty frames, and so much empty wall space. I just need to finish things!

My nephew with the sparkler

Me and dad at his farm

The mutant black-eyed susan we found

I've never added pic's before.... So this is my test run. :)

Typical night

Last night was a typical night. I got home and dozed on the couch for awhile until Guy got home. Once he came home we had dinner (left overs) and proceded to decide what to do that night. Do we clean the kitchen, which desperatly needs it? Do we finish doing laundry, folding it and putting it away, while going through our clothes to see which we don't need to keep? Do we try to get some semblance of order in the back room, where someone is coming to install internet tomorrow and will need to get through the disaster?

All of those are things that need to be done. We decided to take a walk instead. We took an hour and a half walk. 3/4ths of the way through Chief decided he had walked far enough and just laid down. Guy had to carry him. By the time we got back home it was dark out, and we were hot and tired. So we watched a movie.

This is why things don't get done in our house. We are both masters at procrastination and distraction. I love having my house clean. I love having things in order and easy to find, use and put back away. But I never seem to get it to that point. I find I would rather have fun and spend my time enjoying life than worrying about the dirt and clutter.

So tonight the attempt will be to clean the back room. To get it to a point where the guy coming to install our internet can actually get to the computer and work with the computer without having to step around: a futon mattress, an empty fish tank and stand, two massage tables, a bedside table and a very large plant. These are all things that have been stored in the middle of the room. The room is crowded enough with 4 bookshelves, 2 desks and an armchair. This also doesn't include the amount of junk stored on top of Guy's desk that we will need to do something with so we can use the computer once it has internet. I just don't know where we're going to put everything. Hopefully I can convince Guy to throw some of it away. He's a bit of a pack rat and told me yesterday that "throwing things out is hard" for him. I'm more of a minimalist and enjoy having the space. So that's the agenda for today....

Another new blog

I have started several blogs. None of them last past a first, sometimes second, post. I keep wanting to tell far away friends about my life, but then wish for real contact with those friends, and a blog that someone reads and rarely comments on does not suffice. And how do you choose who finds your blog? Anyone can find anyone online. So we read about each other's lives and rarely call or write or visit. A blog, or a message, or a comment on a page does not replace face-to-face contact and converstaions. But in this fast world where we can be constantly connected and never see each other, you lose touch with each other's lives. So I'm going to try again. Try to give a snapshot of my life so my friends know what we're up to, but hopefully still keep in touch with those friends in real life as well.

So here I am. My title for the blog is something I've never tried to do before... Settle down and stabilize myself. But I'm newly married to the man of all my dreams, and to a man who is not any of the versions I imagined he would be in order to fulfill all of those dreams. Funny how that works. We're looking for a house in an area neither of us want to live in... But life happens and plans change. In our case, we need to be around his family more than we need to leave. I want a house of our own... one where I can plant a garden and paint the walls. One where he can tear down walls and build new ones. Something we can take and make into our own, into something that reflects who we are. I'm working a job that doesn't thrill me, but pays the bills. We're crossing fingers for a promotion for both of us... Mine to get me into something that will use my brain a little more, and him to a manager position. But both of those promotions would cross massage therapy from our lists. I already don't use my massage therapist license. He uses his, but won't if he gets promoted to manager. Because you can't be a part-time manager.

So that is our beginning point. Lots of options for our new future together.